Whose i am i drop to my knees with head bowed i am overwhelmed by my shame and guilt Nowhere to go and nowhere to hide
My soul singed with failure, my tears wet the ground Covered with ashes of regret, lost hopes, and abandoned dreams Bowed, muted, and numb, i am overwhelmed by defeat
My soul striped with scars and open wounds i long for the oblivion of death to lose this burdening need This incessant need to escape this harsh and cruel reality
Mocked by my useless endeavors to coat my agonized soul My soul constantly raw and abraded by believing i am unloved and unseen Reaching out again desperately for my heart to feel anything but this endless pain
Make it go away, i plead, make it go away Striving for peace that is seemingly beyond my reach My hands outstretched to be touched and held
My fragile house of cards collapses My sins exposed and my pride laid bare My secrets revealed with the underlaying lies
Longing for darkness and yearning for refuge i cling to the disentegrating and shredding of my faith You do exist but i hate you i whisper
i hate you i scream and i look up with clenched fists Defeated yet unwilling to yield my last card of hope i finally concede i am done and sink into inevitable surrender
i feel the cool wetness of mud on my closed eyes Mud wetted by your tears of grace i see you as you gently lift me to my feet and tenderly whisper
The weight of your struggles have not gone unnoticed or unfelt You have always matter from the very beginning You have been rejected by others but never by me
You are not an option or an inconveniece You are valued and you are worthy to me You were brought with the price of my own blood
i open my mud coated eyes and peer into your unrelenting gaze of love You grip my bowed shoulders with reassuring passion I will not let you go...I got you...I will not let you go
I am yours and you are mine Freed with the affirming and spoken words of truth I stand defiantly in the comfort of your embrace
When who i am is transformed to whose i am When where do i belong is revealed that i always belong to you When who will love me is acknowledged by me that i am already loved by you
Embers of Resiliency 