Ravyn’s Nest

Image by Ravynword

Whose i am
i drop to my knees with head bowed
i am overwhelmed by my shame and guilt
Nowhere to go and nowhere to hide

My soul singed with failure, my tears wet the ground 
Covered with ashes of regret, lost hopes, and abandoned dreams
Bowed, muted, and numb, i am overwhelmed by defeat

My soul striped with scars and open wounds
i long for the oblivion of death to lose this burdening need This incessant need to escape this harsh and cruel reality

Mocked by my useless endeavors to coat my agonized soul
My soul constantly raw and abraded by believing i am unloved and unseen
Reaching out again desperately for my heart to feel anything but this endless pain

Make it go away, i plead, make it go away
Striving for peace that is seemingly beyond my reach
My hands outstretched to be touched and held

My fragile house of cards collapses
My sins exposed and my pride laid bare
My secrets revealed with the underlaying lies

Longing for darkness and yearning for refuge
i cling to the disentegrating and shredding of my faith
You do exist but i hate you i whisper

i hate you i scream and i look up with clenched fists
Defeated yet unwilling to yield my last card of hope
i finally concede i am done and sink into inevitable surrender

i feel the cool wetness of mud on my closed eyes
Mud wetted by your tears of grace
i see you as you gently lift me to my feet and tenderly whisper

The weight of your struggles have not gone unnoticed or unfelt
You have always matter from the very beginning
You have been rejected by others but never by me

You are not an option or an inconveniece
You are valued and you are worthy to me
You were brought with the price of my own blood

i open my mud coated eyes and peer into your unrelenting gaze of love
You grip my bowed shoulders with reassuring passion
I will not let you go...I got you...I will not let you go

I am yours and you are mine
Freed with the affirming and spoken words of truth
I stand defiantly in the comfort of your embrace

When who i am is transformed to whose i am
When where do i belong is revealed that i always belong to you
When who will love me is acknowledged by me that i am already loved by you

~~Ravyn

Ravyn’s Nest

God turns you from one feeling to another and teaches by means of opposites so that you will have two wings to fly, not one~~Rumi

Note:  these are iris flower buds.

From the perch of Ravynhed

Brokeness

Letting the shards of my broken soul clatter through my fingers

Picking up each shard and silently grieving all the contained dreams deferred

Unmet expectations glaring with the shade of truth

Fruitless rationalizations spinning like a kaleidoscope

Intentions maligned by judgment of others

Hopes deferred, disappointments, disillusionments that are all colored by the darkness of a crushed dream and dying faith

Trying to crawl and get up one more time more than I have fallen

Faced with the futility that my dreams were just mirages and shadows in the sand

I light a match to cause the shards to be engulfed in flames

As the smoke mixed with my tears, I wait with my head bowed down in defeat

As I open my eyes, I see a single ember in the midst of ashes

A single ember that refused the white flag of surrender

I see hands that are not mine rearrange the shards and at times, break the shards into different shapes

Refining broken shards into something beautiful

Using love to glue the shards in place

You placed my soul in my hands

I stared in wonderment of what You re-created, recycled, and redeemed

You never given up on me and sought me to show forth Your glory

Truly, I am Yours and You are mine

~~Ravyn

 

Photographer/Writer is Carolyn E. Ford

From the perch of Ravynhed

The Master Quilter

With my head bowed down in guilt and shame,

My tears fall noiselessly on the broken shards of my masks and dreams.

Shards so carelessly trampled on by others unwilling to see my value and worth.

I suddenly throw my head back and scream my rejection.

With my fists clenched,

I wail my hopelessness.

In the midst of my ashes of pain, like an ember of hope,

YOU approach me.

YOU stooped down and lovingly collect my tears of sorrow.

YOU placed both of YOUR hands on my cheeks and whisper.

YOU ARE FEARFULLY AND WONDERFULLY MADE BY ME.

AMONGST THE BROKEN PLACES AND AMONGST THE DARK PLACES,

I AM THAT I AM.

YOU WILL FEAR NO EVIL FOR I AM ALWAYS WITH YOU.

I WILL NEVER LEAVE YOU OR FORSAKE YOU

MY PROMISES ARE ALWAYS YES AS LONG AS THE SUN SETS AND RISES.

Hopeful in acceptance, I found healing in brokenness.

I gave to HIM what others considered trash and HE made anew a patchwork quilt of beauty.

~~Ravyn

Photographer/Writer is Carolyn E. Ford

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Please Untie The Nots by Iyanla Vanzant

Dear God:
Please untie the nots that are invading my mind, my heart and my life.
Please remove the have nots, the can nots and the do nots that invade my mind.
Please erase the will nots, may nots and might nots that invade my heart, Please release me from the could nots, would nots and should nots that invade my life.
Most of all, dear God, I ask that you remove from my mind, my heart and my life all of the am nots that have allowed me to hold back.
Please erase from my mind the thought that I am not good enough.
Please remove from my heart that I am not loved enough.
Please untie from my life everything that I clutch that supports the belief that I am not enough.
Today, dear God, I come to you humbly and reverently asking that you untie, eliminate and erase all of the nots that have invaded every aspect of my life. For your mercy and your grace I am so grateful.
Let these words take on the presence of the Holy Spirit to become living conditions in my life.
And so it is!

 

Guest Photographer–Kendrick Wallace