Collaboration–Carolyn Ford

WILL YOU?

Will you?
Will you catch me when I fall?
Will you kiss my tears as they fall?
Will your lips meet mine and linger?
Will you hold me in a tight embrace in silent surrender?
When you look into my eyes and peer past my walls,
When you hold my hands and silently promise to not let go,
Afraid, I stumble in confusion
Fearful, I hold on in hope
Will you be there in the morning?
Will you tread softly in my heart?
Will you?

~~Ravyn

Collaboration by Carolyn E. Ford

More than enough

When all is lost and when all is gone,

Health, friends, family, pets, car, home, and finances

Hopes, dreams, plans, love, and faith

I sit amongst my broken pieces of what was and what is

Only what remains is the LORD

Dare I hope again?

Dare I reach out to HIM?

Dare I see light faintly in the darkness?

I find myself lost in HIS embrace

I find myself tightly held in HIS grip of grace

I find myself in awe in HIS presence

For HE has never left me and HE has never let me go

For I am HIS and HE is mine

For HE is God alone and the Great I am

Where HIS grace and mercy meet, healing begins

HE is more than enough

~~Ravyn

Collaboration

Artwork by Pablo Picasso (1904) titled “Woman with a Crow”. Found at the Toledo Museum of Art.

Poetry by Carolyn E. Ford (Ravyn)

 

My Black-feathered Friend

Shhhh I whisper softly to my black-feathered friend

My friend who listens to my secrets better left hidden and shrouded in darkness

Shhhh I whisper softly to my black-feathered friend

My friend who sees my broken wings and yet is unafraid of the turmoil unspoken

Shhhh I whisper softly to my black-feathered friend

My friend who touches my soul blackened by deeds best left unsaid

 

Shhhh I whisper softly to my black-feathered friend

My friend who touches my tears of bitterness and regret

Shhhh I whisper softly to my black-feathered friend

My friend who smells the decaying wounds of my heart

Shhhh I whisper softly to my black-feathered friend

My friend who allows my melancholy to embrace us together

Shhhh I whisper softly to my black-feathered friend

My friend who replies healing to my sundered soul raked by sorrow

Shhhh we sigh together to await the darkness that brings promise of light

Shhhh we sigh together and wait for the invitation for resurrection

Shhhh we sigh together and wait for the rising sun to live again transformed

~~Ravyn

 

 

 

From the perch of Ravynhed

Brokeness

Letting the shards of my broken soul clatter through my fingers

Picking up each shard and silently grieving all the contained dreams deferred

Unmet expectations glaring with the shade of truth

Fruitless rationalizations spinning like a kaleidoscope

Intentions maligned by judgment of others

Hopes deferred, disappointments, disillusionments that are all colored by the darkness of a crushed dream and dying faith

Trying to crawl and get up one more time more than I have fallen

Faced with the futility that my dreams were just mirages and shadows in the sand

I light a match to cause the shards to be engulfed in flames

As the smoke mixed with my tears, I wait with my head bowed down in defeat

As I open my eyes, I see a single ember in the midst of ashes

A single ember that refused the white flag of surrender

I see hands that are not mine rearrange the shards and at times, break the shards into different shapes

Refining broken shards into something beautiful

Using love to glue the shards in place

You placed my soul in my hands

I stared in wonderment of what You re-created, recycled, and redeemed

You never given up on me and sought me to show forth Your glory

Truly, I am Yours and You are mine

~~Ravyn

 

Photographer/Writer is Carolyn E. Ford

Words/Photography–Carolyn E. Ford

Who am I?

Who am I?

I’m undecided even through I have a wide selection of masks.

I put on so many different masks for different people so I would just fit in and be accepted.

I put on these masks because I wasn’t content to be myself; instead, I wanted to be someone else.

I am a coward because I could not stand up for me as I am.

I was afraid that I would be alone and unaccepted when people saw the real me.

Now my masks are falling apart and with tears streaming noisily down my face, I look in the mirror and find that I lost myself.

I see now that it was a mistake to put on masks and now, I hope it isn’t too late to begin the journey to find the real me.

And in that long arduous journey to find myself,

finally, maybe, and perhaps…

I can find the courage to be just me.

~~Ravyn

Collaboration

Photographer is Joe Neely and writer is Carolyn E. Ford

River Dance

Let’s dance on water!

Yes, you!

Don’t delay!

Time is now!

Celebrate life for life is good.

Life is full with good and bad moments.

Let’s celebrate the good and let the bad rest in peace.

Yes, you!

Don’t delay!

Time is now!

Let’s dance on water!

~~Ravyn

Words/Photographer–Carolyn E. Ford

Soliloquy of Sorrow

I realize this morning that I have lost my friend and my lover. Not to death, although that would have been easier, but to drugs. My heart is heavy and conflicted. Tears fall noiselessly on my cheeks. My mind spins through my reels of memories both good and bad. When I last saw you, you kissed me and held me. I stroke your face and kissed your closed eyes as you lie asleep. I didn’t know then that would be our last moments together. I miss you like crazy but I know what silence from you means. Unanswered calls and texts mean you are at the altar of your god named addiction.

 

I can’t keep going down the rabbit hole and I can’t keep riding the crazy train. I am so damn sick and tired of being less than enough with you. I thought I was satisfied with your crumbs of affection but now I realize I was throwing my pearls of self in the mud that you carelessly trampled on like a selfish swine. You disappoint me greatly. I wish you could see yourself as the LORD sees you—worthwhile and redeemable.

 

I want you who looked deeply in my soul and asked with all seriousness, “Do you like the way I make love to you?’ I want the one who stood proudly in the congregation as I became a member of the church that I now belong and gave me a bracelet with panels of crosses as a remembrance of that day. I want the one who drove with me in the sunset singing, Broken, by Seether featuring Amy Lee. I want the one who sent me a video of dogs performing Numb by Linkin Park after I kicked you out of my car because of a stupid argument over what was playing on the radio. I want you who I dedicated the song, Faithfully, by Journey during my first night of karaoke. But most of all, I want you as the best version of yourself—in recovery from both your addiction and mental illness. I love you and you will always have a special place in my heart.

 

The door of us is now softly closed by the LORD. I must stop lingering at that door in hopes that the door will open. Our paths have diverged and I must find the meaning, “I am yours and you are mine”, in my renewed relationship with the LORD. I must find “trust without borders” with the LORD and not you. We are both in the LORD’s grip of grace and that is all I need to know.

~~Ravyn

Guest Photographer–Joe Neely

“You are goodness and mercy and compassion and understanding. You are peace and joy and light. You are forgiveness and patience, strength and courage, a helper in time of need, a comforter in time of sorrow, a healer in time of injury, a teacher in times of confusion. You are the deepest wisdom and the highest truth; the greatest peace and the grandest love. You are these things. And in moments of your life you have known yourself as these things. Choose now to know yourself as these things always.” 

~Neale Donald Walsch

From the perch of Ravynhed